Hey, There's a Dog in My Bed
Guest blogger: Ethan Hamburg
My bed is the comfiest place in the house to sleep in, because of one damn cozy bedfellow, my dog DJ. My fluffy buddy brings warmth and cuteness to my bedside: it's a delight. The problem is, however, that DJ is too comfortable in my personal space.
Like many other normal people, I'm a left-sided sleeper. It has its benefits considering my night table is on that side. Makes it easy for me to reach for the water bottle at a moment's notice. More important, my phone charger is there too. Gotta make sure the battery doesn’t die when I am watching my favorite Netflix series. So when DJ curls up and sleeps for hours on end on the bottom left-hand side, we have an issue.
Now, I'm not the tallest guy in the world. I'm 5’11 (6'0 even if a woman asks), and my feet never hang off the bed. However, what if 25% of the space is now occupied by a dog who has zero consideration for my comfort? Sometimes I have to contort my feet into a pretzel so Mr. DJ can sleep peacefully. Other times, when I decide that enough is enough, I banish the terrier to the dreaded right-hand side. Only thing is that a dog doesn’t understand the concept of left and right or for that matter, right or wrong. If he did, then he wouldn't return to the same spot that I unceremoniously banish him from 90% of the time.
I tried making him sleep literally anywhere else on the bed to no avail. My conclusion is that even though he gets woken up in the middle of deep sleep, it's actually something he enjoys. Bed displacement gives DJ an opportunity to be picked up and hugged before he falls back asleep. Of course, maybe just maybe, he genuinely enjoys my company rather than his sacred spot.
Left, right, or center, top, bottom, or on the pillow, displaced or unmoved, I think DJ's bed antics, as annoying as they may be, are about something that is core to his existence. It's about being close to me, it's about love. And that's why my friends, I wake up every morning with a terrier in my bed.